what is love? how does one define love? ... i have debated this question for a very long time, and though i've come up with a wide variety of possibilites, one in particular has stuck the longest. regardless of a singular definition, i think that love is dependent on multiple things, many of which i'm pretty sure most people agree on.
communication is key. there has to be an understanding between the two people, and the ability to both talk and listen to each other. compassion, of course, is a given. general attraction, physical and mental. i also think it's important that the two people think on the same wavelength, whereas, knowing and being able to identify with the other's thoughts on fundamental levels. sharing the same interests. being able to laugh together.
the most important bit, however, i think is different than any of those. i think that to be in love, for two people to share love is true and shown when, generally speaking, you are around that person, and you genuinely feel at peace. when nothing else matters, because of the presence of this single person. when you can spend time with them, and literally forget about any other baggage you may be carrying at the time. finals? no matter. deadlines? forgotten. stress? non-existant. i think that if you use this definition as a more accurate portrayal of love, everything else sort of falls into place. how many people can you say fit into this category? and if this is held true, what higher level of intimacy can you have? sure, there are times of distress, and disagreements/issues are inevitable in every relationship, romantic or not, but generally speaking, i think this is crucial.
to be able to sit, and be perfectly content with just sitting. or dozing off during a movie. sitting in a park, under a tree. ... this goes hand in hand with my belief that it's not what you're doing that makes times good, it's who you're with, invariably. sure, going backpacking on the beach can be amazing, but if you're alone with some total jerk, the trip, as a whole, can suck. and the inverse of this is of course also true. the times during the day i appreciate the most are when i'm just hanging out with my friends. regardless of the action, just in good company. sitting in the living room, spinning discs on our fingers, making food, heck, even studying somewhere on campus... these times are beyond refreshing.
so it only seems logical to me that love is the next step up. that in this excellent company, everything can be enjoyable. that when you are stressed, you just want to sit, or... be with this person.
but as i've said, i don't think this is all. i think another aspect is completely fitting with the other person. not necessarily the person being your other half (which i think sort of denotes that alone, you're insufficient), but that together, you are more than the sum of the each separate. that where you are weak, the other brings you up. where your ideas end, there's can start. where you are missing, they provide. and vice-versa. ... i believe that every person has a perfect match. soul mates? perhaps. that term can be so loaded, though. ... i just believe that through this other person, we are augmented, more complete... balanced. sort of like a puzzle. there's nothing wrong with an individual piece, it can still be colorful, it can still be beautiful... it is just more when connected with its match.
but then, is there only one? only one fitting piece? ... i used to think so, but not so much anymore. i suppose it's a bit irrelevant, since i also believe that everything works out in the end; and as such, i think we will always have the ability to be with that person, provided he/she is the right one. ... but this is encroaching on religious territory too much, so i'll refocus.
i do believe that it's possible to love more than one person (not at the same time, i just mean, total), but i'm not sure if i believe it's possible to ever fall out love with someone you were truly in love with. feelings can fade, yes, but i think that if you loved someone once, if they remain in your life, you will continue to love them. like it or not.
however, it's crucial to recognize the distinction here between true love and... well, everything else. passion fades, yes. infatuation, of course. heck, you may even be crazy about someone, but i think these are all so different from love. ... i believe that love is all or nothing... it's all-encompassing, and that once you reach this ultimate level of connection with someone, it can't be truly broken.
i have issues with the idea of "falling out of love" with someone, because i think that if you think you have, that maybe you aren't realizing that you weren't in love in the first place. but is that really such a terrible thing? you can have an intensely strong connection with someone, and have lots of the key ingredients, but if you ever find yourself 'falling out' of love, i don't believe you can call what you had love. i think it's stronger than that, not something, "permanent," per say, but indestructable nonetheless. so maybe it wasn't love. that just means when it is, it's something better than you know. ... which is an intensely exciting prospect.
the single most frustrating aspect i think, is that it's so apparent in movies. i'm so envious, sometimes, of the love in moulin rouge. vanilla sky. the family man. ... i adore the emotion, the perfection that arises from the interaction of those in love in these movies. and for this perfection to feel so... unattainable sometimes... it almost seems unfair. this is why i hate moulin rouge half the time, because it is perfect, and yeah, i'm just jealous.
interesting that this only happens with moulin rouge, though. i will always, and always do, love vanilla sky. despite loss, the chance of 'again'... <sigh> perhaps it instills hope.
... i'm not entirely sure what sparked my interest in ranting about love. ... it's been in my head for a while, perhaps because it's something i'm so... hopeful for. not that i'm taking an extreme, and searching in the wrong place, or anything ridiculous... it's just my goal. ... something to be looking for.
the answer to the question.
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